Fending Off Fraudulent
Fossil Fuel Allegations

“I will not divulge our fuel compounds any more than Mrs. Fields will tell all to Famous Amos.”

Kris Kringle, NPI President and CEO
Fueling the Fire

A slew of accusations were leveled at NPI this morning as various World Summit factions ambushed NPI CEO Kris Kringle over NPI’s refusal to divulge closely guarded SameDay™ delivery fuel formulas.

Environmental organizations alleged negligence, the World Legal Council called for discovery and disclosure, and competitors threatened action against perceived antitrust and monopoly issues.

“Last week I told a reporter that I didn’t envy Facebook’s public relations nightmare over Beacon’s security and privacy issues. But it’ll take more than this angry mob to make me divulge our fuel formula, or any other proprietary information so closely tied to the success of—and ultimately the public’s belief in—our brand,” a stoic Kringle told reporters on the front snow banks of NPI headquarters.

Firing Back

Kringle used the opportunity to remind competitors FedEx, UPS and DHL that it wasn’t out of the question for NPI to begin offering SameDay™ delivery service 365 days a year.