Cindy Klaus makes a plea for media restraint

“Allegations that Miss Kringle’s presence at the 34th Street Depot indicate her intention to flee authorities are assertions made without factual basis.”

Cindy Klaus, NPI Executive Vice President
The Wildlife

Kia Kringle, daughter of NPI CEO Kris Kringle, was arrested late last night for allegedly nogging a reindeer outside an exclusive North Pole watering hole. Apprehended at the 34th Street Polar Express Rail Depot, the incident marks Kringle’s second run-in with city officials in as many weeks.

Nogging involves rapid and massive consumption of traditional Arctic Noggin, a thick egg and whale milk-based malt beverage, and chasing unsuspecting wildlife through city streets. Noggin is produced by the NPI Inuit Spirits & Bottling Company.

Needed Like a Hole in the Noggin

The Kringle family has asked that details of the matter be kept private until the North Pole authorities investigation is complete.

“Each morning it seems the corporate grounds are less berg, more sea.”

John Donder, NPI Vice President, Facility Engineering
NPI Red: The New Green

North Pole, Inc.’s (NPI) distinctive red brand turned decidedly green this week as NPI distributed red woolen caps to its 380 million customers worldwide to create awareness about the ever-shrinking polar ice cap encroaching on NPI facilities.

In typical NPI fashion, the 380 million caps were distributed to 65 countries in under 2 hours.

“I live fast and suffer the media rumor mill for it. So I’m starting my own mill.”

Kris Kringle, North Pole, Inc., President and CEO
Truth Matters

As President and CEO of the world’s premier product development, delivery and distribution company, I find the details of my personal and professional life the object of much speculation.

Both the press and word of mouth (WOM) tales are rife with rumor and disinformation. People don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m launching this blog to provide a true insider perspective on all things NPI.

Sure, we’re looking for positive spin, but I’ve charged our public relations staff with telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help them me.

Over the next few weeks, my colleagues and I will publish personal reflections and commentary, as well as our take on breaking NPI news and responses to media issues—bad or good—on a daily basis, so stay tuned.